Sleeplessness..

I have so much running through my mind tonight that I've decided to get out of bed to write them down. Much has transpired yesterday and today and is probably the reason for my sleeplessness.

Yesterday, Amber and I were outside the MRT (metro) station returning from town. I almost collided with a middle-aged local guy in a business suit who was walking out of the station completely transfixed on his handheld, his partner girlfriend doing exactly the same alongside him. Disgruntled, I sidestepped to avoid plowing into him and to my horror I glimpsed the game he was so immersed in. I was appalled to see this person in such a rush, almost oblivious to his surroundings, preoccupied on something so frivolous!

It has almost become a daily occurrence to walk into a shopping mall and feel absolutely engulfed by overwhelming external stimuli. I recall Amber and I walking into Bugis Junction last week. A surge of cold air (air-conditioning) accompanied by the blaring audio and visual sensations of people frenziedly going about their business left me stunned and disoriented.

Today, dad, Amber and I spent the afternoon together in Jurong Bird Park. I had heard many wonderful things about Singapore's Night Safari and how much effort was taken in keeping the animals within their natural habitat. I assumed that my experience of Jurong Bird Park would be similar to what I had anticipated. The first enclosure we came across was the 'World of Darkness' which exhibits various species of owl. I was disconcerted to find beautiful but expressionless birds confined to "cells" decorated with artificial trees painted white to imitate snow (Snow owl exhibit) and surrounded by cement walls with amateurishly painted backdrops of mountains or forests. I gazed at a snow owl huddled emotionlessly against the back wall to spend a few moments in empathy. In those moments I saw that the owl was completely aware of the unnaturalness of its "habitat", and its wretched state of affliction. What is it about man that he finds it perfectly civilized to put living creature in a cage for most if not all of its life for our entertainment, or "education." This instigated more horrific images of other inhumane practices around the world like Spanish bullfighting and Chinese circus bears. Needless to say I left the enclosure feeling despondent.

This evening we got home and dad told us that Juergen (my auntie Glenna's husband) had passed away. He had been battling, but not being seriously hampered by his illness for many months now and only in these last few days did his health deteriorate significantly. Amber and I had stayed at his magnificent home in North Carolina during the middle part of our round-the-world adventure and are pleased to have had gotten to know him. His passing has considerably affected us here in Singapore and especially dad who in light of this is naturally is mulling over his own mortality. In myself, it has incited curiosity and futile contemplation over what happens to the person/soul/spirit after the body dies. So in the last 5-10 minutes of this evenings meditation, I found it appropriate to meditate on my feelings of appreciation to Juergen, to what he had accomplished on this earth, and to bid him farewell. My thoughts now rest with my grieving auntie Glenna.

2:54AM. Good night!

L-R: Juergen, me, Amber, Glenna, Sven