Kundalini meditation.

Since landing in India, I've never been able to recall in an instant what day it is, and in mid-cognition trying to figure it out i catch myself, bringing me back into the present. I don't need to know what day it is, and in a moment of clarity, glimpse how momentary this life would be outside of the illusion of time. 

Urja suggested we start half-an-hour early today to do Kundalini meditation. I've never done it before, and was keen to find out. With accompanying music, we started with 15 minutes of shaking - to awaken our energies from the "sex centre." I found this rather amusing as i began to shake up and down imagining where exactly my "sex centre" was.

Shaking shaking shaking, I find myself instinctively opening my eyelids to see how everybody is shaking: "Hmm she's swaying so much it looks like she's dancing. Isn't dancing not until the next phase of the meditation?" I catch myself thinking, and take a deep breathe, bringing my full attention to the sensation of my rib cage expanding, contracting.

Shaking shaking shaking. "I must look like such a dork." Catch myself again. There is just this body moving vigorously almost seemingly without my effort.

Shaking shaking shaking. "How the heck am I going to dance for the next 15 minutes??" 

The music metamorphosises into a more fluid tempo and I feel my body effortlessly soften to reiterate the melody. For moments I am fully present to all the intricately movements that this body is providing me with. No judgements, no thoughts, no mind.  Then, "Wow this is pretty amazi... Goddamnit!!"

The rest of the "dance phase" I find myself shifting back and forth between "mind" and "no mind." I would get lost in thought for up to a minute or more, catching myself, effectively bringing me back to the present moment, or "no mind." Surprisingly, I find my face familiarly contorting and my eyes begin to well up. All the switching from "mind" to "no mind" had given me a real taste of freedom from this mind. In a moment of insight I saw how my mind restricts me into a small and predictable way of being. In "no mind" I was absolutely free to be any way I wanted. The body would move despite "myself", and all that was in my experience was the beautiful and mysterious sensations that went along with it. A minute change in the melody and then the body would flow spontaneously, naturally into another sort of rhythm that effortlessly mimicked the music. There was no effort on my part, only a transcendental experience of the movement of this body in a variety of ways that "Myself" would never have experienced.

Phase 3 of the meditation is "sitting." the type I am most accustomed. The body has expended its "excess energy" and it is easier for the mind to be silent. 

Phase 4, the music stops and we lay sprawled on the floor around the room to "come out" of the meditation.