Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Eat, Pray, Love.



We had been anticipating this movie for a couple of weeks now and for me particularly so since it was the book that offered inspiration in the creation of our recent RTW trip itinerary. In brief, Elizabeth Gilbert finds herself living an uninspired life as a married woman in her 30's. She divorces and travels to the world to 'find herself,' or 'seek God.' Italy (eat), India (pray), Bali (love). It was interesting how similar the images created in my mind from reading the book was to the scenes constructed in this movie, and I was delighted at the revealing of a more accurate portrayal of characters like Ketut (Elizabeth's medicine man in Bali). Funnily enough, I also discover that Ketut Liyer lives in Ubud - the locale where just last week we celebrated my auntie and uncle's 50th Golden anniversary!

The most meaningful part of the movie is at the end, with Liz's soliloquy, that reminds me why I loved it so much: 
“I’ve come to believe that there exists in the universe something I call ‘The Physics of The Quest’ – a force of nature governed by laws as real as the laws gravity or momentum. And the rule of Quest Physics maybe goes like this: If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared – most of all – to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself.. ….then truth will not be withheld from you. Or so I’ve come to believe.”

After the movie was over, the impatience of the lady sitting next to me to get up and leave the cinema made me wonder how she felt about the deeply esoteric movie, and conferred to Amber that I imagined 90% of the audience would not have been able to fully appreciate the profundity of its message.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

10.10.10

Someone told me today that 10.10.10 is a very auspicious day. So I googled it to see what I would find out, revealing words like 'abundance', 'health' and 'a time for change.' For me, today was an absolute shitter of a day. My sore throat worsened into a mild fever, my mistake of leaving my bag-pack in town made me have to turn the taxi around which did indeed mean abundance for the taxi driver at my anguish of $38.80, so I'm definitely in favor of 'a time of change.' I shall attempt to finish this blog with the absence of melancholy.

The book I'm currently reading is 'Buddha or Bust,' by Perry Garfinkel. I picked a copy up while waiting to board the plane to Singapore in Bali at 150,000 rupiah. On assignment for National Geographic, Perry circumnavigates the globe to discover the heart of Buddism - very reminiscent of the RTW honeymoon/pilgrimage/adventure that has brought Amber and I to Singapore. A definite page turner, I am looking forward to sharing more of his insights.

In the events of today, I had ample opportunity to remain aware with the numerous moments of uncomfortableness and gratifications of my mind. This is what the Buddha had discovered - that all is annica (impermanent), and the transitory quality of life was one of the causes of suffering. This suffering, Dukka (suffering) is the daily indignities, disillusions and disappointments, the minute-by-minute ups and downs of ones own emotions. Being forced into proximity of what we hate is suffering, being separated from what we love is suffering, not getting what we want is suffering. Clinging to anything - hopes and dreams as well as craving for a green milk tea with bubbles - causes suffering. Being trapped in this human existence, in this physical body which I had no choice, and being predisposed to the unceasing manic nature of the mind, is the reason that today I am utterly miserable.

For instance, for lunch, Amber and I went to Bugis Junction food court. Being a sunday it was packed, and when I finally had a table in sight, I unhurriedly made my way to it. Coming from the other side, was a middle aged woman who had also spotted the very same table and was walking towards it. We arrived at the table at the same time but she didn't acknowledge me and I had to be the first to say "share." Her friend with a child promptly appeared and retorted "Four." Yielding, I saw glanced a smirk on the lady's face as I left. Feeling an all too familiar rush of blood to the head and an a simultaneous involuntary blur in my vision, I indignantly meandered off to find another place to sit. I absolutely despised the consequential way I 'thought', and felt completely powerless to change it.

Bali:
We stayed at Melia Bali in an area exclusively for tourists in Nusa Dua. We had International gourmet buffet breakfasts and Asian, Japanese and Mediterranean cuisine for dinner at exorbitant prices. The price of our two BR suite could feed a small village (maybe even a big one) for a month, and prices on everything else had $++ at the end of the figure. The amount of money spent on taxes and services charges could have covered this months home electricity bill. On wednesday, we went deeper into Bali - Ubud, to celebrate my auntie Ellen's and uncle Hulman's golden anniversary. Their 50th! It was the highlight of the trip. We rented out a very stylish restaurant that served a 6-course meal. I was only able to get this meal down because it came in small portions and with long intervals in between. I was already thoroughly satiated from the other meals.

Bali's infrastructure is in a pretty bad state (Vietnam's is appalling), and when we leave the car at the more touristy sites we are immediately swarmed with aggressive peddlers trying to sell their wares. Looking into their eyes I could see that they are literally begging for money, with their goods merely serving as a means to do so. Throughout the trip I put up an indignant front, not even wanting to look at what they are trying to sell, much less make any sort of eye contact. But I remember the lament of one particular teenage girl who stationed herself in front of a restaurant. As I walked past her disgruntled, I heard her despairingly call out from behind me "Please, just loook!" as I kept walking on, shaking off the compassionate urge to turn around and meet her anguish. Her plea still calls out to me now and again, and is most painfully heard during meditation. Millions are living in poverty, and the wealthy don't even want to look. Even right now I can already feel the inevitable inclination to shrug off the pangs of guilt as a recall the many brief reluctant encounters I had amongst the poor in Bali - "Screw them. Not my problem. The government should seriously get their act together."

One very colorful family.


Our new friends Brenden, Aileen, Alejandra and Janek.


Amber at our massage hut, Ubud.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Shopping without the dropping.

Tomorrow is my cousin Sherwin's wedding. So today, Amber and I went into town to shop for her shoes and make-up to match the stylish cheongsam she bought last week. Also, we decided she finally go to a professional to give her hair some tlc. I have never seen anyone smile continuously for 45 minutes before. I enjoy her unworldliness and love how easily she is to please. 

Amber: "Wow, I've never had a shampoo without a basin before.."

A very satisfied customer.

We thought hairdresser did a great job and they (she had a helper) made us feel very comfortable. I left feeling satisfied and considered the delight I had just experienced simply by sitting with her throughout the makeover. 

So she's all set for the wedding tomorrow! I wonder which t-shirt I'm going to wear...

Friday, September 24, 2010

Entrepreneurial musings and Imperial Treasure.

Today, I was inspired to think about what I could create if I were to start up a small business venture. Since arriving in Singapore I have been to numerous gyms island-wide for workouts and several interviews for possible employment, having nothing remotely appealing in terms of renumeration or personal development. Being an independent contractor back in Les MIlls NZ has given me contempt for the monstrous capitalist "health and well-being" enterprises sprawled throughout the country. To submit to employment by these agencies would be to agree to sell my soul for 8 hours a day, 6 days a week. Envisioning the prospect of actually signing with one of these clubs, heinous images of a recent visit to Singapore's Night Safari flashed through my mind - a cage is still a cage no matter how much flora you use to cover up the bars.

Be that as it may, Amber and I have been scouring the island for green 'breathing' spaces, where we can hang out to read, eat and drink, without breaking the bank. We found some!

Pasir Ris Park with our new deck chairs. In the background is a cafe that
we had previously discovered with very luxurious couches. However, the
menu was offensively overpriced and the refreshments un-refreshing. In
response, we purchased 2 deck chairs on sale at 30bucks apiece and
delicious cheap-as-chips drinks from the supermarket at $1.50 a bottle.
UP YOURS, pricey cafe! 

On another occasion, NICK had invited us out for dinner at a fancy chinese restaurant at the new Resort Casino at Marina Sands. VERY tasty, and what a spectacle it was from the upper levels of the casino to see the exquisite interior architecture and the razzle-dazzle of rows and rows of poker tables and jackpot machines. Too bad taking photographs were not permitted.

Authentic Chinese cuisine at Imperial Treasure with Nick and Karen.

The Marina Sands Bay area is for the wealthy. We parked for 2+ hours and it cost us $20! Also, the people are made of gold. Look!

I certainly ain't in Costa Rica anymore.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Nike 10km SIN vs KL run, 24th OCT 2010

Got my A into G physical-wise and started training for a 10km run coming up in 6 weeks. 8km in 50 minutes on the treadmill this morning and finished with reserves. I'm not a great runner and my target is to beat Amber's 49:04minutes in a 10km comp she did in NZ'09. My incentive? To get rid of a slowly protruding gut I've noticed since being in Singapore. Must be all those yummy green milk teas w/ BUBBLES. I ain't giving THAT up!


Although I'm training for that 10km, my primary fitness goals haven't changed. 

Monday - Gym, heavy
Tuesday - Treadmill distance KLvsSIN
Wednesday - Gym, spartan
Thursday - HDB Stair run
Friday - Gym, bodyweight resistance 
Saturday - East coast run KLvsSIN
Sunday - off.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

God and spirituality from a Christian perspective, City Harvest Church style~!

Mum proposed we attend sunday service at the non-denominational City Harvest Church, so that's just what we did. It was held in Expo 8 and had a very young, vibrant ambience. Entering the Hall, I fondly reminisced the similarly experience of entering Christian 'place of worship' I had back in Los Angeles at the Agape Center.

The guest speaker was Phil Pringle from Australia and he used the story of Moses leading God's people out of bondage to convey his message of faith. Amber and I had a vaguely stimulating discussion after about what and how we felt about our thoughts of our experience at CHC.

I thought the sermon was mostly uninspiring,  and I was also disconcerted observing the masses being emotionally stirred up by the message of being faithful to an 'all powerful God,' based on unverifiable circumstances in history: in this case, Moses receiving instructions from a burning bush to lead his people out of Egypt and later on parting the Red Sea. Horrific images of present day radical Islamists and historical Christian crusades in the name of 'God' flashed through my mind. I found it difficult to simply accept what was said: "God's will" as blind faith. It would be near impossible for any scientific/inquiring mind to be persuaded by what was taught. It made me wonder about what the congregation did actually get

On the other hand, I thought that the event as a whole was beneficial and even imperative to sustaining the wellbeing of the human psyche, especially in a fast paced society so permeated with technology such as Singapore. After the sermon, Phil entreated people in the audience to come up and "receive God" by asking His forgiveness, which numerous people reciprocated. It was moving to feel the presence of God/love/.. so palpable, surely there was 'healing' taking place(?). 


Overall, it was an experience that got Amber and I talking about a fascinating topic: human nature, and therefore a sunday morning invaluably spent.


http://www.chc.org.sg/eng/index.php

Friday, September 10, 2010

Book Cafe at River Valley.

Tis a damp and cloudy day in Singapore. Amber and I are chilling out at Book Cafe by River Valley Road in Singapore. We've been on the lookout for relaxing and chilled out cafes/spots to read, blog and whatnot and so far we haven't been extremely successful. The best thing about Book Cafe is that there is no blaring music to distract me from reading. The seats are comfortable, its got wifi, and it looks like most of the other patrons are here for the same reasons. The only irritants I'm experiencing are the rather steep menu prices and the two people who are smoking despite the obvious 'No Smoking' signs.

I've finally gotten onto The Awakening of Intelligence, by J. Krishnamurti, which I'm thoroughly enjoying. The author is a world-renowned spiritual teacher and discusses valuable (in my opinion) issues such as the need to change, "religious" experience, man's struggle, and the search for truth. An area I'm finding particularly useful is on the topic of meditation, and how, as he explains, is "not as escape." In recent meditation (this morning and last night), I found my mind irritable and therefore not being unable to sit still and quietly even ending the sessions minutes before the hour is up. I ascertain that this is due to not "living wholesomely" these days just past. My conscience is affected and results in my not being able to practice properly. So I discover directly through my own experience why the precepts for vipassana are given and required: Meditation is not an escape from life and living; the spiritual life cannot be effectively practiced if the events of daily life  are not properly dealt with (5 precepts):

  1. Refrain from intentionally harming or taking life
  2. Refrain from taking things which are not given to me
  3. Refrain from sexual misconduct
  4. Refrain from false speech
  5. Refrain from intoxicants that confuse the mind. (i.e. drugs & alcohol)

While they act as restraints, the Five Precepts are also intended to harmonise one’s behaviour so they can be expressed as positive qualities:
  • Act with compassion and loving-kindness towards all sentient beings. 
  • Be open-hearted and generous.
  • Practice stillness, simplicity, contentment, and self-restraint.
  • Speak with truth, clarity and peace.
  • Live with mindfulness.


It has been almost 4 months since my last meditation retreat, and sometimes I wonder if this practice is doing "any good." I find reading about spirituality such as Krishnamurti's book essential and inspirational and I love how I am able to bounce ideas off Amber's eager ears. Even more, I am very pleased to find myself (ourselves) in the habit of meditating on a daily basis. I would definitely feel like something was missing if I were to stop today.

I am finally connected! After weeks of feeling aversion for Singaporeans having their faces constantly buried in their iphones (and I realize this is more due to modern city lifestyle than race), I have purchased a prepaid SIM card to use on a derelict NOKIA cell phone I found lying around the house.

Rickety cellphone doesn't even have a battery casing. Love it~!

Over and out!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Sleeplessness..

I have so much running through my mind tonight that I've decided to get out of bed to write them down. Much has transpired yesterday and today and is probably the reason for my sleeplessness.

Yesterday, Amber and I were outside the MRT (metro) station returning from town. I almost collided with a middle-aged local guy in a business suit who was walking out of the station completely transfixed on his handheld, his partner girlfriend doing exactly the same alongside him. Disgruntled, I sidestepped to avoid plowing into him and to my horror I glimpsed the game he was so immersed in. I was appalled to see this person in such a rush, almost oblivious to his surroundings, preoccupied on something so frivolous!

It has almost become a daily occurrence to walk into a shopping mall and feel absolutely engulfed by overwhelming external stimuli. I recall Amber and I walking into Bugis Junction last week. A surge of cold air (air-conditioning) accompanied by the blaring audio and visual sensations of people frenziedly going about their business left me stunned and disoriented.

Today, dad, Amber and I spent the afternoon together in Jurong Bird Park. I had heard many wonderful things about Singapore's Night Safari and how much effort was taken in keeping the animals within their natural habitat. I assumed that my experience of Jurong Bird Park would be similar to what I had anticipated. The first enclosure we came across was the 'World of Darkness' which exhibits various species of owl. I was disconcerted to find beautiful but expressionless birds confined to "cells" decorated with artificial trees painted white to imitate snow (Snow owl exhibit) and surrounded by cement walls with amateurishly painted backdrops of mountains or forests. I gazed at a snow owl huddled emotionlessly against the back wall to spend a few moments in empathy. In those moments I saw that the owl was completely aware of the unnaturalness of its "habitat", and its wretched state of affliction. What is it about man that he finds it perfectly civilized to put living creature in a cage for most if not all of its life for our entertainment, or "education." This instigated more horrific images of other inhumane practices around the world like Spanish bullfighting and Chinese circus bears. Needless to say I left the enclosure feeling despondent.

This evening we got home and dad told us that Juergen (my auntie Glenna's husband) had passed away. He had been battling, but not being seriously hampered by his illness for many months now and only in these last few days did his health deteriorate significantly. Amber and I had stayed at his magnificent home in North Carolina during the middle part of our round-the-world adventure and are pleased to have had gotten to know him. His passing has considerably affected us here in Singapore and especially dad who in light of this is naturally is mulling over his own mortality. In myself, it has incited curiosity and futile contemplation over what happens to the person/soul/spirit after the body dies. So in the last 5-10 minutes of this evenings meditation, I found it appropriate to meditate on my feelings of appreciation to Juergen, to what he had accomplished on this earth, and to bid him farewell. My thoughts now rest with my grieving auntie Glenna.

2:54AM. Good night!

L-R: Juergen, me, Amber, Glenna, Sven

Sunday, August 22, 2010

MIA

Since arriving in Singapore, the proclivity to share my life experiences has diminished significantly. Mostly likely due to the fact that I am back 'home' in familiar surroundings. The immense feelings of wonderment of discovering a foreign land is gone and although Singapore has changed dramatically since I last lived here, I feel I have succumbed to a certain degree of ennui that comes from living in opulence and comfort. Funnily, this reminds me of the story of Siddhartha Gautama who left his kingly inheritance to live a life of an ascetic in search of enlightenment. I have always empathized with his yearning.

It's 520pm here at Toast Box, Tiong Bahru. I am waiting for Amber to come back from her now-almost 1.5 hour long interview with Montessori Learning Centre and getting a little anxious. She is settling in very well and looking forward to beginning her new career as a tutor. The fact that she has already found lucrative work with relative ease has made me somewhat bothered about having not yet found something comparable.

Yesterday, dad invited my cousin and Elin over for 'scrabble night.' It was thoroughly enjoyable and although dad quietly escaped to go to bed later in the night, the 4 of us remained for subsequent games of Boogle. I am looking forward to more!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Good morning, Singapore.

Good morning, Singapore. I got up this very early this morning from a peculiar dream. I recall running through a dingy open-air car park, hounded by large muscled dogs left and right nipping at my waist and fingers. I moved quickly with slight tinges of fear and anger at the uncomfortableness of my situation. I get to a fence, and open a small gate. The dogs, caught up with each others' excitement, chase each other out the gate in front and away from me. I cross the fence and head the other direction still feeling inclined to 'get away' or 'go someplace.' I see an old house-mate, Richard Barrett, who seemed somewhat to be in the same predicament as mine, except he is on a superbly enormous and magnificent brown horse. He has a passenger, who alights and walks with me to our unknown destination, while Richard rides of ahead of us, leaving me with my all-too-familiar sentiments of "Why didn't you give me a lift?" followed by "It doesn't matter, I'd rather walk than ask for your help anyway."

So I awoke at 4am this morning and unsuccessfully tried to get back to sleep. Instead of laying there wide-eyed and awake a moment longer, I decided to meditate. Last night I fell asleep on the couch and missed evening meditation with Amber. When I got up and crawled into bed, she was still in meditation. I went straight to bed. So this was making up for it. Looked at my watch - 4:48am. Later when I checked again, 5:58am. I have never sat through an entire sitting for over an hour without fidgeting, so I was astounded to find that 70 minutes had passed without me having to change my position.

Anyway, I realize it has been a long while since I've last blogged. So much has happened and gone by in such a blur that now it's seems like such an insignificant memory. I will not relate everything that I feel stands out, but I will give these a mention+photos, as they seem salient in my mind and memory.

Amber, with that big cheesy grin, looks like the
newest addition in the cast of Avenue Q! :}

Dinner before Avenue Q at Wyndham Theatre.

Big Ben

London Eye lost much of its appeal when I found out
about the Singapore Flyer.

Charlotte, Brendan with baby who we stayed
with in Walthamstow, London

Westminster Chapel

Regents Park social, London


It's been a week since Amber and I landed in Singapore, and although I have been feeling like my round-the-world adventure has come to an end, I have to constantly remind myself that it is not so for Amber. In fact, she has expressed, and I have remarkably seen in her eyes, the befuddlement of culture shock! I too, have noticed how different Singaporeans are from everyone else we have experienced (NZ, Europe, Costa Rica) - how differently everyone looked and behaved. I jokingly mentioned once to Amber - "No wonder I've always felt that "I don't fit in."* Everything and everyone here seems so foreign and alien!" (*One of the many distinctions that I discovered about myself in Landmark Education was the notion that I always felt "different")

It's been wonderful and invaluable watching Amber's "transformation" since our first stop in Los Angeles, where we went into a shopping mall and all Amber wanted to do was leave. Now, I amusingly watch her mosey from fashion store to fashion store looking for new clothes to wear. Granted, we do need proper clothes now that we are living and soon to be working in a very cosmopolitan city. I guess what it is I longingly recognize in her eyes is the losing of oneself in the experience of discovering a new world or reality, and realizing that what you thought you knew about the world and yourself, is only an iota of what reality is, and you can never be sure that what you know is real - or can you?

It's come 7am, and I told myself to take no longer than an hour to complete this blog. So I will end this entry by uploading the last of these photos. Among them is the very lavish renovated Bali-inspired flat where we are living that belongs to my dad, who has very generously let us use the master bedroom while we are in Singapore. 


Living room with entrance to master BR through glass dooron the right

Bedroom

The "kampong" in us - Eating durian as a family

Amber tasting her first durian. She didn't like it.

Siregar's



Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I amsterdam!

Just over 4-hours later, we arrive at Amsterdam Train station apathetic that this was our final train ride  for our passage around Europe. We catch a tram to Velariustraat where Ram's apartment to find him waiting for us.

I had met Ram at vipassana back in Italy. The brief exchange on the tenth day of the course led to his invitation of Amber and I staying with him if we were planning to be in the neighborhood. We did, and I accepted! He revealed to me that he was an artist then, but I was only to find out how  passionate and accomplished upon our arrival into Amsterdam. www.ramkatzir.com

Breakfast with Ram

Ram is very sociable. That evening we had an unexpected visitor - an old and dear friend of Ram's. Corolla is fashion designer/illustrator from Argentina and also very sociable. They haven't seen each other in almost three years and it is clear that their friendship is endearing. Late into the evening, Amber and I are invited to share a joint with them. It is Jamaican, I'm told the mildest kind I'd find in Amsterdam. I strike one of the things off my 'Amsterdam "to do" list.' Interestingly, I notice my linked negative connotations of smoking weed with "failure." The last time I was stoned, my life was in a bad way, so here I found myself in strange 'new territory' smoking weed in a very different context in the company of a "successful" and very inspiring human being.

Excited kids rolling a joint

I wake up feeling heavy and groggy the next morning. Still, without any disinclination, the three of us sit together in meditation. Ram was delighted to find that Amber and I have been meditating regularly since our last course and was eager about sitting with us over the next few days. We were too!

Ram has a couple of bicycles which he let us use and we ride off for the first time into town. After 20 minutes of haphazardly traversing the busy but charming conglomerating city streets of Amsterdam, we cycle past a couple in distress. 'B' is on her side lying on the pavement with her head on her backpack shivering uncontrollably, while her partner, 'J', is standing by her side, seemingly calm but hinting discombobulation. Amber is the first to stop to see if they need help. J tells her that they have had some space-cake and B is having a strong reaction. I notice that J is also pretty 'out of it' and merely keeping composure, and doing a pretty good job of it! B, however, is in a much poorer state and laments about how she can't feel her legs and that she needs to go to a hospital. While Amber is locking up our bicycles a few meters down the road, I  curiously find myself on my knees, on a random street in Amsterdam, vocally and physically consoling a stranger who is in an acute state of distress. I run across the road to a corner shop and ask to call 112 (Ambulance). She helpfully complies but advises that the paramedics will charge 200+ euros for their service. I run this by J which he readily consents to. His body language tells me otherwise. Amber suggests a cab to the hospital, and the taxi driver down the road demands 250 euro compensation if she throws up in his Mercedes. He is hesitant about taking her in his car and keeps expounding how he will be 'responsible' once she gets into the car. He was obviously very concerned about something of what I am still uncertain. In the meantime, passerby's are incessantly stopping to see what is going on and voicing their concerns and opinions, "Give her lots of sugar," or "Take her to the hospital!" or "She needs to vomit!" Having a little experience with the drug itself (okay okay, more than just a little..), I felt that all she required was reassurance and moved to a safe and less conspicuous space, so we drag her to her feet and go into the back toilet of the infamous 'Ice Bar' across the road where we spent the next hour or so, while Amber and I, still feeling like she wasn't 'out of the woods', had caffe lattes. The staff were cool and even handed us glass of sugar water for her. Two lattes and two vomits later, B resolutely walks out of the toilet and sits down awkwardly next to us, clearly concerned about the whereabouts of their backpack. J, not far behind her, attentively takes a seat, thanks us, and hands us 50 euros for helping. Refusing at first, I recognize the genuineness and uncompromisingness in his eyes and readily accept our financial reward. After exchanging emails and well-wishes, Amber and I get on our way, feeling thoroughly satiated by our good deed. (*Thanks J and B! The 50 euros has gone towards a lovely Canal ride and a hearty Tibetan dinner of sizzling duck and sweet and sour fish. Mmmmm!)

Canal ride

We get back to our bikes and find my Macpac jacket, which Amber had stored in one of the bicycle pockets, stolen! Immediately, I observe prickly waves of emotion gushing throughout my body, at a loss at how to react, Amber clearly upset with herself. In the antsy moments that follow, I observe a myriad of thoughts and feelings run riot, incapable of coming to a serene conclusion. Recognizing that my deepest desire and practice is to be non-attached to 'things,' I remind myself that this is not worth getting upset about, and making Amber wrong for losing my expensive jacket only devalues my experience of her and myself in the here and now. 10 minutes later, after contemplating very uncomfortable state(s) of mind, I imagine seeing the person who took my jacket on the street, wearing it. We meet, and having the option of take the jacket back, I choose to gladly give it to him. "You have it." - followed by a comradely smile and feelings of goodwill. This briefly described sequence of mental events may seem frivolous, but my resultant subsequent feelings were invaluably insignificant and peaceful.



"Coffee shop"


Today is our last day in Amsterdam, and so much still has happened which I long to share on this blog but yet not practical to convey. We have this morning been to the Ann Frank museum, and decided not to see any more museums. As Amber recently declared, "We are completely museum-ed out!"


Very cool cafe lounge area where we hung out for hours.


Maybe later I'll write part deux about our workout, Shutter Island, Ram's fabulous bookshelf and orange couch, the red-light district, Casa Rosso, the happenstance meeting with Tina and Brenden from New Zealand, and the angry pedestrian who bellowed "FUUCK YOUU" when I cycled too close to him on the sidewalk. What a captivating city to (almost) end our tour around Europe!
I amsterdam


Sunday, July 25, 2010

In Bruges.


A ‘Christian’ God
My audacious comment about my notion of what God was not in a recent post has instigated farther exploration into my Christian perspective of what God is. And coincidentally, my earnest running of fingers across a row of books at Massolit Books stopped at publication entitled Divine Milieu, by Pierre Telhard de Chardin – A French philosopher and Jesuit Priest whose personal truths conflicted with some of the Catholic Church’s which resulted in some of his books being censured. I believe wholeheartedly that there is truth to the essence of Christianity and that the Bible holds much wisdom and insight into the phenomenology of man - incidentally also the title of Telhard’s primary book and latest addition to my reading list. I am just now delving into the irreplaceable ideas and experiences of a kindred seeker of the Christian persuasion. 

Justice
I have also relevantly been disconcerted with thoughts of justice and nature these past few days. I keep recalling a particular excerpt I watched on television back in Poland about the “plight” of a species bird (I don’t recall the name). The documentary goes something like this: When the mother leaves to find food for her newly born chicks, a snake encroaches on the nest. The mother returns to find the snake unhurriedly swallowing her chicks one by one. She remains there powerless to do anything about it. When the snake finishes and leaves, she enters the empty nest looking around bewildered that her chicks have vanished. She abandons her nest to search for another location to build another. She finds one, distinctly different from the previous: Vines with no branches for snakes to slither up on; She lays her eggs once again, and patiently watches for predators before leaving her eggs. A cuckoo cunningly watches from afar, and when mother is gone, lays a single egg in mother’s nest. It is slightly bigger than the rest, but mother does not spot the difference. She instinctively goes back to sitting on the eggs to keep them warm as if her own. Soon, the eggs hatch, and the imposter chick appear markedly different from the others. It is much bigger and darker than the rest, but mother is blind to this disparity and continues to feed it along with the others. Because the cuckoo bird is inherently self-seeking, it nudges the other baby chicks out of the nest and they fall to the ground helplessly to their deaths. Father and mother watch on perplexed but continue to feed the cuckoo as their own. I watch aghast at the injustice of this phenomenon of nature, yet I have to accept that this is what ‘is.’ Mothers’ chicks were food for snake and her maternal instincts fostered the “enemy’s” children - all perfectly natural to perpetuate the broader ecological cycle of nature. It is my own judgment that deems the action ‘unjust’ or ‘malicious’ even 'evil'. Yet any interference on my part would be to intrude on the natural order of things.

I remain baffled at the phenomena of nature and spontaneous self-imposed judgments, observing with renewed understanding that all the artificial and restrictive shackles that society has placed upon me are entirely mine to relinquish. 

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Me, Pierre and Krishnamurti.

We are here in Massolit Books having coffee and entranced by all the beautiful books that surround us, trying to make a decision on a couple to take with us on our onwards journey. Soon, we will catch a train to Balice airport terminal to board a flight to Brussels Charleroi, where we will catch another train to Bruges.

I've decided on The Divine Milieu, by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin and The Awakening of Intelligence, by J. Krishnamurti. Very excited!

Good bye, Poland!




Sunday, July 18, 2010

Auschwitz-Birkenau Death Camps.


Amber and I got up just past 5AM this morning to catch the 6:10AM train to Oschwiem (Auschwitz) station 1 hour and 40 minutes away - we like doing things the hard way y'see. Tour companies around tour were offering Auschwitz-Birkenau tours for 90-120 Zloty's (NZ$45-60) per person, but we agreed that we'd want to miss the hordes of tourists at the museum between 10AM-3PM. Besides, how much more adventurous is it to find our own way there! At Oschwiem station we took a short bus ride to the gates of the infamous death camp just before opening time, 8AM. Perfect! Only a handful of visitors were had the same idea, but probably arrived by private car. Finally, we had arrived at the much anticipated Auschwitz and Birkenau death camps where merely 65 years ago Nazi's murdered approximately 1.5 million people they considered 'inferior', mostly jews.


The ironic 'WORK GIVES FREEDOM' sign that marks 
the entrance of Auschwitz death camp.


As Amber and I sauntered upon the solemn ground of Auschwitz, we tacitly took separate directions to immerse ourselves completely with the experience. I ended up at the sole crematorium on this camp, converted from a bunker (photo on right). As I entered and walked through the dark and cold sequence of concrete rooms, I felt a waves of heaviness and prickly chilliness wash over me. Standing by a lit candle and bouquets of flowers, I became overcome with emotion thinking about the thousands who had perished around me. Bumblingly I tried to gather myself and make my way out of the cellar, flummoxed by the seriousness of my thoughts and how I should behave. An hour later, tourists begin to arrive en masse, and I was glad on the decision to come early. I would not have allowed myself to feel completely what I felt in that cellar with many people around me. 


Our tour group started at 930AM after a 15 minute screening of a relative documentary. We were assigned a very articulate and phlegmatic guide (my after-tour assessment) and I observed my negative involuntary judgements of how she was too unattractive and antagonistic to be a good tour guide.  

AUSCHWITZ


Taken on the outside of the double fence 
that border the death camp.

The main parade square where the Nazi's would conduct daily roll call. 
Prisoners would be made to stand here up to 12 hours a day whatever the weather. 
Not surprisingly, many died during from exhaustion and extreme temperatures. 
That small structure with the pointed roof in the middle was 
for the conducting officer during inclement weather.

Execution by firing squad was replaced with a single bullet through the back 
of the head because it happened so frequently, the Nazi's thought it 
was a waste of bullets.


Another form of torture/punishment, as our tour guide enacts out, 
is to have your hands tied behind your back and hoisted 
up to the point of shoulder dislocation.


On the shuttle bus that transported us from Auschwitz to Birkenau camp, I overheard someone asking another "How are you finding it?," and following it up with "Depressing, isn't it?" I recognized that her words were intended more to proliferate social conversation, and since I wasn't the recipient of her banter, it allowed deeper reflection into my feelings. I did not feel "depressed" per se. Rather, my experience was thought provoking, paticularly my thoughts about what 'God' is. How could a 'loving and merciful' god allow such a thing to happen to ordinary people? Musicians, teachers, doctors, artists, whose only "guilt" was their ethnicity? Auschwitz was hell on earth, and I can only imagine what these casualties went through. Death seemed like liberation! Any rational mind would refute a god sitting on a throne in heaven looking down upon us, granting us prayers on certain occasions where he deems fit; allowing us to come and join him in heaven only if we accept Him and no other gods; pleased when we do good works and frowning upon when we do 'bad.' Imagine my surprise to realize that however gullible and naive this belief seems, I glimpsed in a moment that essentially, that that was to some extent what I am/was (?) operating from. Even now I still sense fear in completely denouncing this view, even though my rational mind and feelings from the depths of my soul is convinced that this is false. What if I chose not to "accept" this God, and in the result spend an eternity in hell after I die!? However embarrassingly callow, this is essentially my understanding of Christianity. The tenets of vipassana seem overwhelmingly pragmatic to my sensibilities: 'Heaven' and 'hell' are states of mind you experience in the here and now; God is Not an old guy with a long white beard judging you in from some celestial throne; and you frantically running around like a lunatic with your arms in the air proclaiming his name at the top of your voice (be it Jesus, Allah or Krishna etcetera) is not going to get your ass into heaven.


BIRKENAU

View from the main tower and entrance of the larger Auschwitz II - Birkenau. 
75% of jews (those who couldn't do hard labour) who came through these gates were 
sent immediately to the gas chambers on the far end of these railway tracks.

Brick quarters that housed prisoners

English memorial plaque located between the two Nazi-demolished 
crematoriums in attempt to hide their war crimes.



"Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it."
                                                  -George Santayana

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Enchanted in Krakow.

I just told Amber I could live here! So far its been a fabulous experience. Just this morning we moved out of our 'Sun" apartment, into a smaller 'Grand' apartment. These two apartments were last minute arrangements suggested by 'Apartments Apart' in light of my recent error of reserving an apartment for 2011! Just as well I requested a confirmation email whilst in Prague and they revealed my mistake. It was a bit of a hassle to move over this morning, but we got a discount for our troubles and we're living in a different part of town (near the Jewish quarter).


Last night we did our evening vipassana hour early to walk in Krakow twilight. Serendipitously, while walking along the northern Planty (unique stretch of gardens surrounding the town center), Amber and I were approached by a friendly lady who told us about a piano recital being held in the Barbacan (a fortified tower over a drawbridge) in a few minutes. This one in particular is the largest military structure of its type in Europe. It was a magical evening in a magnificent historical structure, unlike anything I've experienced before. The performer was by Bartlomiej Kominek, an accomplished scholar and musician and his selected pieces were a tribute to the famous Polish composer Chopin. My experience of watching and hearing sounds coming from the grand piano were absolutely divine, and I observed in myself a heightened appreciation of all 105 minutes of his masterful performances. (*Papa, i've heard you playing Chopin's Nocturne and Polonaise umpteen times before and I'd LOve if you taught me how to play one when we're in Singapore!)

Here is a clip of him on youtube performing a piece we enjoyed last night. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjqvNp_K1Eg

Totally inspired.

Old Town Square at night

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Prague.

We arrive in Prague on a Sunday evening after a 5-hour train ride from Berlin. My first impressions of this much anticipated city is desolate, fraught and frigid. As we walk towards Katerina’s apartment from the mental image of the map imprinted in my head, we walk past a guy who Amber notices has disturbingly large pockmarks on his forearms and a middle-aged woman under a highway on the verge of tears. From the discolorations of her face, clearly a crack addict.

We find Katerina’s apartment easily enough, but already drenched in our own sweat from the searing heat. To our dismay, we find the apartment not air-conditioned. The place is nice though, modern with all the amenities for required for a comfortable stay – wifi, kitchen, walking distance to the town center. Our host was also very accommodating when she offered to buy our overnight tickets to Crakow on our behalf while we were still in Berlin (I found out that the cheapest available tickets were from over the counter at the Prague railway station).



Katerina informs us that during the weekends, locals go to their houses outside of the city to escape the tourists and heat of the city, hence the empty streets. Also, the railway station is located between the apartment and the Old Town Square so we are outside of the touristy areas. I think this is great as we get to see the ‘real’ Prague as well. There’s a very strong booze culture here unlike New Zealand’s. People do not seem as well off and look somber and gloomy. My first impression.

The following 3 days discovering the city turn out to be pleasant and much more colorful! I had made a list of the attractions I had intended to see, but did not eventuate. Reason being the heat just saps our energy here and walking is just exhausting! We easily decided not to see the castle (we’ve been to plenty), and Amber was very reluctant to go to the Torture museum even though I was keen (Half the fun for me was to watch Amber squirm). I decided against seeing it on my own - no biggie. Walking around historic Prague was beautiful in itself and we saw lots of wonderful art on the streets. The Jewish quarter, Old Town, and Charles Bridge were really the main attractions for us.

On the Charles Bridge

Old Town Square



I really loved this amazing painting (Sleepy Prague) in one of the stalls that is our current wallpaper on our MacBook. The other reminded me of Eve tempting Adam with an apple (I don't know if the artist intended to depict this). We were tempted to buy a couple of paintings for our future house back in New Zealand, but decided against it as it would probably get damaged on our journey and it wasn’t cheap. This is the first time I’ve ever really appreciated painted art. Here are a couple I enjoyed the most:

 We walked into a tiny Jewish art museum and the lady amiably asked our names so she could tell us what they represented(?) in the Kabbalah alphabet(?). I know nothing about this but her ‘interpretations’ struck us uncannily, describing “us.” Amber had ‘Tet,’(?), which translates as ‘intelligence,’ and my name had ‘Mem(?),’ meaning ‘unconditional truth.’ I liked and felt the connotations and have in mind learn more about Kabbalah.

On our last day in Prague we decide to treat ourselves to a Thai massage! Services are cheap-ish here in Prague and we each chose a 90 minute massage. It was good, but I preferred the broad full bodied strokes that I had gotten from the Ayurvedic one back in Italy. Thai massage can be a little rough and I found myself wincing at a couple of the stretching poses. Amber enjoyed it more than I. 

So now we're here in our very big and cool apartment right in the middle of Cracow, and what a  lovely town it is! Everything is softer and personable, and accommodation is cheaper. A large apartment such as this one is just over NZ$100 a day. I'm so glad I decided we stay here for 7 days and 8 nights. Amber and I set aside the rest of today to plan our next 7 days to cover all we want to do. Very exciting! Here's what we've come up with:

Krakow:
  • Explore town center by foot.
  • Kazimierz (Jewish quarter) 
  • Schindler's factory.
  • Auschwitz concentration camp.
  • Aqua park (swimming complex)
  • Bike trail in Wolski Forrest.
  • Krakow Mounds
  • Krakow Fortress bike trails.