I arrive at Mumbai airport at dusk and to my relief, there was a pre-paid taxi counter by the terminal exit. I hand over 650 rupees to the attractive Indian lady and she hands me a taxi voucher. "Go out, turn left. Give this to the security man." she says. "Security man. Great." I respond. I walk out, turn left, and find a bunch of guys in normal wear blocking my path to what looks to me like a taxi stand. One of them aggressively walks up to me and looks in a rush. As he talks he continuously shifts his weight onto the other foot and nervously looks behind his shoulders. Directly above his acquaintances is a large sign that reads: "BEWARE OF TOUTS."
Tout: "Taxi? You want taxi? Where you going?"
Me: "I've got a prepaid taxi voucher"
Tout: "I'm taxi driver. Where you want to go?"
Me: "I'm looking for a security man"
Tout: "I'm taxi. Here taxi. Where you going my friend?"
Me: I stop walking and hold up my chit to try to read it. Really I'm trying to slow my physiology down to get present to what is really going on. "I want to go to the Pagoda. Next to Esselworld."
Tout: "It's very late my friend, where you going after? Where you staying?"
Me irrately: "I'm staying at the pagoda!"
I think by this time I've slowed our conversation down to such a slow pace that he feels very uncomfortable. He steps out of the way and ushers me with his hands toward the taxi stand I was headed to in the first place. I walk off satisfied that I had handled that with composure, but felt disgruntled at the fact that I had to stop in the first place. For the next 2 hours I find my self in a tiny four-wheeler once again being hurled through Mumbai chaos. This place is just insane! 2 hours of aggressive jostling for space on tarmac, dusty pong streaming in through the open windows, and incessant honking coming from every direction. All this for the equivalent of SGD$18??
In the darkness a golden luminous dome appears surreally over distant trees. The pagoda! Wow what a sight! I never would have had the chance to see it in all its nocturnal grandiosity.
I sit for 5 days in silent meditation with about 120 other meditators. Me, and another lone white guy In a sea of black. The complex and the grounds, unsurprisingly, are not in impressive shape. Clean though. As directed by the teacher, I sit in Ana Panna for the first 3 and 1/2 days. Wholly focusing my attention on the touch of the breath on the small triangular area below the nostrils and the top of the lip. The smaller the area of focus with sustained attention, the more the mind becomes sharpened. For 3 days it is a battle for my mind. Many times I find myself lost in thought, imagination, fantasy. I bring it back to the triangular area, undaunted, but still surprised by how long sometimes it takes for me to notice that my mind has wandered. "Occupy Your Mind" I posted on Facebook recently had an accompanying image of a clenched fist inside of the side-profile of a head outline ( in obvious correspondence to the ongoing Occupy Wall Street Movement), came to mind.
During the day, My practice is constantly interrupted by construction on the roof of the building. 2 guys hammering away at some floorboards and an electric saw in the distance buzzing away with absolute disregard to the meditation going on. And then on Christmas eve(and day), booming bassy techno music for a party in the adjacent pagoda infiltrated my room. There was also a noisy large black crow that never failed to perch itself closeby in the afternoons, obviously scanning the drains for whatever remnants from lunch it could find. Frustratingly, that afternoon, I gave up trying to meditate tried to get some sleep.
The mornings and the evenings were the best times. I soon found that I could go deeper, easier. On day 3, lying in bed face up, familiar sensations of heaviness and movement fill my head and my eyelids. These sensations focus my awareness on the phenomena taking place in the darkness within. At first I squint, as if it is my eyeballs that are doing the seeing. Then it becomes clear that this phenomena comes from a deeper process. A vast array of images and patterns fill my vision, reminding of the one time I had experimented with LSD. This was different, however, "cleaner", as I am completely conscious and "sober". It is very real, almost tangible. Explaining the reality of this phenomenal experience to anyone who has not him/herself would be futile. Remembering the teachers instructions, I do not get carried away with what I'm experiencing (that is, feeling no pleasure or aversion) and remain aware of the breathe and sensations. The brain is starting penetrate deeper realities.
Unfortunately this is about as far as I go. And as the other meditators get initiated into the real work of Vipassana on day 4, I am instructed to break my silence and only meditate during the 3 group seatings interspersed throughout the day. This is to prepare my mind for coming back into the " real world".
The work of vipassana is to purify the mind. Now, through the work of ana pana (concentration), the mind is sensitive enough to reach to the deeper unconscious processes of the mind. Here the real work of dislodging all the accumulated impurities the mind has gathered by bringing it to the surface. You "see" these impurities in the form of "sankaras": Gross, unpleasant sensations felt anywhere throughout the body,. Or, pleasant, subtle sensations of free flow vibrations. Either or, one is not to react, but merely watch with equanimity. By observing it, with the understanding of impermanence, it eventually dissipates. Our work is to disperse all our accumulated sankaras of anger, hate, lust, etcetera. The more we are free of this, the more we feel liberated, and the happier we will be.
Personally, I feel this has single-handedly transformed (and continues to) my life since I first discovered it 5-ish years ago. Psychology, philosophy, religious antics, scripture, and "New age" fads in my experience and understanding are all just impotent methods and by people who are lost themselves, frantically trying to find their own way out of life's misery and mysteriousness.
Try it for yourself, i'd love to know what you think.
Tout: "Taxi? You want taxi? Where you going?"
Me: "I've got a prepaid taxi voucher"
Tout: "I'm taxi driver. Where you want to go?"
Me: "I'm looking for a security man"
Tout: "I'm taxi. Here taxi. Where you going my friend?"
Me: I stop walking and hold up my chit to try to read it. Really I'm trying to slow my physiology down to get present to what is really going on. "I want to go to the Pagoda. Next to Esselworld."
Tout: "It's very late my friend, where you going after? Where you staying?"
Me irrately: "I'm staying at the pagoda!"
I think by this time I've slowed our conversation down to such a slow pace that he feels very uncomfortable. He steps out of the way and ushers me with his hands toward the taxi stand I was headed to in the first place. I walk off satisfied that I had handled that with composure, but felt disgruntled at the fact that I had to stop in the first place. For the next 2 hours I find my self in a tiny four-wheeler once again being hurled through Mumbai chaos. This place is just insane! 2 hours of aggressive jostling for space on tarmac, dusty pong streaming in through the open windows, and incessant honking coming from every direction. All this for the equivalent of SGD$18??
In the darkness a golden luminous dome appears surreally over distant trees. The pagoda! Wow what a sight! I never would have had the chance to see it in all its nocturnal grandiosity.
I sit for 5 days in silent meditation with about 120 other meditators. Me, and another lone white guy In a sea of black. The complex and the grounds, unsurprisingly, are not in impressive shape. Clean though. As directed by the teacher, I sit in Ana Panna for the first 3 and 1/2 days. Wholly focusing my attention on the touch of the breath on the small triangular area below the nostrils and the top of the lip. The smaller the area of focus with sustained attention, the more the mind becomes sharpened. For 3 days it is a battle for my mind. Many times I find myself lost in thought, imagination, fantasy. I bring it back to the triangular area, undaunted, but still surprised by how long sometimes it takes for me to notice that my mind has wandered. "Occupy Your Mind" I posted on Facebook recently had an accompanying image of a clenched fist inside of the side-profile of a head outline ( in obvious correspondence to the ongoing Occupy Wall Street Movement), came to mind.
During the day, My practice is constantly interrupted by construction on the roof of the building. 2 guys hammering away at some floorboards and an electric saw in the distance buzzing away with absolute disregard to the meditation going on. And then on Christmas eve(and day), booming bassy techno music for a party in the adjacent pagoda infiltrated my room. There was also a noisy large black crow that never failed to perch itself closeby in the afternoons, obviously scanning the drains for whatever remnants from lunch it could find. Frustratingly, that afternoon, I gave up trying to meditate tried to get some sleep.
The mornings and the evenings were the best times. I soon found that I could go deeper, easier. On day 3, lying in bed face up, familiar sensations of heaviness and movement fill my head and my eyelids. These sensations focus my awareness on the phenomena taking place in the darkness within. At first I squint, as if it is my eyeballs that are doing the seeing. Then it becomes clear that this phenomena comes from a deeper process. A vast array of images and patterns fill my vision, reminding of the one time I had experimented with LSD. This was different, however, "cleaner", as I am completely conscious and "sober". It is very real, almost tangible. Explaining the reality of this phenomenal experience to anyone who has not him/herself would be futile. Remembering the teachers instructions, I do not get carried away with what I'm experiencing (that is, feeling no pleasure or aversion) and remain aware of the breathe and sensations. The brain is starting penetrate deeper realities.
Unfortunately this is about as far as I go. And as the other meditators get initiated into the real work of Vipassana on day 4, I am instructed to break my silence and only meditate during the 3 group seatings interspersed throughout the day. This is to prepare my mind for coming back into the " real world".
The work of vipassana is to purify the mind. Now, through the work of ana pana (concentration), the mind is sensitive enough to reach to the deeper unconscious processes of the mind. Here the real work of dislodging all the accumulated impurities the mind has gathered by bringing it to the surface. You "see" these impurities in the form of "sankaras": Gross, unpleasant sensations felt anywhere throughout the body,. Or, pleasant, subtle sensations of free flow vibrations. Either or, one is not to react, but merely watch with equanimity. By observing it, with the understanding of impermanence, it eventually dissipates. Our work is to disperse all our accumulated sankaras of anger, hate, lust, etcetera. The more we are free of this, the more we feel liberated, and the happier we will be.
Personally, I feel this has single-handedly transformed (and continues to) my life since I first discovered it 5-ish years ago. Psychology, philosophy, religious antics, scripture, and "New age" fads in my experience and understanding are all just impotent methods and by people who are lost themselves, frantically trying to find their own way out of life's misery and mysteriousness.
Try it for yourself, i'd love to know what you think.
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